Tuesday, May 31, 2005
well, on the whole, it was a great day..everything was cleared last night..maybe my heart will be at ease now..poor heart of mine..had been doing overtime all while..its time to rest, but STILL MUST BE PUMPED!!! if not i will die..haha..(frankly, i find it lame, but, dont care, still write..haha..)
slept at abt 4 last night, washed that stupid fish tank for my dad, then watched some anime...and its time for bed..
watched 3 shows in the afternoon, miss congeniality 2, XXX2 and aviator, well, basically my whole afternoon was spent watching dvds..haha...
well, anw, saw the jolin tsai cd again, seriously, i never had a good impression of her, but then, frankly, think she had matured and she looked really really hot in the new album..haha..i also dont know why, maybe its the photographer who is good..haha..but really, she looked superb..downloaded few of her songs, not bad either..but then again, i personally felt that she is copying Britney Spears..haha..but who cares...
miss universe at 10pm, encore telecast..think that will keep me rather occupied for the night b4 i turned in..
8:25 PM
Monday, May 30, 2005
today is the day i made up my mind..and i am extremely certain of wat i am doing...the msg will be sent later..gd nite ppl..cus i want to slp and wake up tmr and be a happier and untroubled chen!! haha..
good nite..
9:41 PM
Sunday, May 29, 2005
well, from yesterday all the way to now, 3 major things happened..one good news, one bad news, and one tragedy....well i shall start with the good news..
rmb i said that i had been keeping something in my mind for 3 weeks and i finally let it out on saturday...and guess wat? it was successful!! haha..think i can be a very good matchmaker already..well, the story was that i had this friend of mine, who had been having a crush for this girl, who happened to be another friend of mine, for a a period of 2mths, and surprise surprise, this girl happen to like this guy too...but both of them were too shy to tell each other..i was shell-shocked when i heard the news, cus its like, so near yet so far, like very sad like that..so i decided to help, i did not want to interfer initially,cus i was afraid that it might eventually spoilt their friendship.. but then, think of it, in the first place, its me who introduce them to each other, and think i had the responsibility to finish the job..and 2ndly, since they both like each other, by saying it out, dont think their friendship, and instead, it would be a happy ending..haha..so i decided to take the risk..haha..think the word responsibility had finally settled my thoughts for the past 3 weeks.haha..so i arranged both of them to meet up, but they dont know they will be meeting each other..haha..this is the kind of skill i got from watching too much drama i think..haha...then eventually, when the 3 of us meet, both of them were shocked to see each other, haha...then we sat down for lunch, then, just like the drama, i found an excuse to walk off first, then i sms both of them that i had something on, finding an excuse to leave..haha..but at the same time, i sms "the girl likes u too, grab this opporunity" to qisheng(the boy) and vice versa to june(the girl), i was really hoping that they can grab the chance and do something...while, think at abt 2.13pm, haha..i remembered the time cus i had saved the sms in my archive, cus it is like a sense of achievement for me..haha...anw, at 2.13 pm, i reveived the sms from qisheng, it says" chen i've made it!!" 4 simple words tell a lot..i cant describe the joy i had within me..haha..as for the detail on how they managed to tell each other, i din ask, and i dont bother, cus to me, its the eventual result that counts..haha..i had made it..haha..think i can have another occupation to consider already..haha..ok..crap..but seriously, i am really happy for them, i dont know how to describe it, but it just feel so good, cus to me, i think love shd be like this..dont hide ur feelings, cus if u do, ur chance maybe just gone..well, though its hard for me to actually do it, but at least this is the mentality i have...haha..anw, congrats to qisheng and june..hope u all last long...yeah...
well, thought this would be a good beginning for me for the day as i headed for my friend's birthday party..well, my joy was short-lived...while we were enjoying ourselves, my friend suddenly received a call from his uncle, the news was that, his grandpa had just stop breathing..and moments later, another call came in, the tragedy struck..his grandda past away..well..i was really lost for words..but he said something, "can u follow me to the hospital? cus i am afraid i cannot take it.." i really was stunned..as in, i really dont know wat to say to console him...throughout the journey, i kept quiet, and just listened, listening to him talking, telling me how good his grandpa was, i kept listening, cus i know, when he kept on telling me all the stuff abt his grandpa, his grandpa really means a lot to him, at SGH, he went into the ward, i dont know wat happened, cus i did not follow, but he came out crying...i pat on his shoulder..and again, i kept quiet...after a while, i went into the ward to pay my respect to his late grandpa, and we just sat down outside the hospital, me and him, and again, listening to him talking abt his grandpa again..its really sad..talked until abt 6.30pm, he went back to his family to prepare the approiate proedure for the funeral, and we separated, and again, i pat on his shoulder, "take it easy" was all i said..i dont know how to describe how i felt at that moment, but i certainly understand his behaviour..just hope everything will go well for him, definitely will contact him again..hope all is well..
okay, the good news, the bad news and the tragedy had been revealed..now is time for the real tragedy for myself..
i had lost a friend..a friend who i treasured so much..seriously, i really dont understand what had been going on, cus on everything was still ok on thursday, and on friday night, when this person came online, and suddenly, this person says he/she hates me..i was really puzzled..cus i really had no idea wat happened..i tried asking for an explanation on wat is going on, but i did not get it..hai...i tried talking to this person on sat, but nope, i was refused a chance...seriously, i was very down, during my night cycling, i could not enjoy myself, cus everything was abt this friendship, cus i was thinking wat on earth did i do wrong to deserve this? why sudden change of attitude? well, the night cycling ended early,i started reflecting on wat exactly had happened..but seriously, i could not recall anything.. so i decided to msg this person, telling this person how exactly i felt, and all that had been in my heart for a very long time, and my analysis on why this person got angry with me, well, i got a reply at 5am..the person told me that , to a certain extent, wat i thought was wrong, well, i can accept that..cus maybe i think i too highly of myself...but wat i wanted to tell this person was exactly how i felt..hai...then this person said something abt he/she will not go ard telling ppl wat i did and will not ruin my reputation..that got me ever more confused..i really dont know..and this person told me things abt wat i treating this person as a spare and that he/she doesnt want to treat me as a spare too.....i really dont understand wat this person is talking abt..it came to such a so firery conversation that eventually this person told me that he/she wants to be out of my life so that i can lead my life on my own, well, when i saw that, i was really fuming, really..cus y on earth do u want to end this friendship without even giving me an explanation? well, eventually, i told this person that our friendship was over, i accepted this person's abscence from my life..well, this person eventually told me that he/she remember that i once said, once i hate someone, i will not forgive. and that this person is sad to be fall into this category, due to the fact that she is just being frank with me..i did not replied, cus i dont know how..well, I do, as wat the person said, once i hate someone, i will not forgive, but frankly, until now, i dont hate this person, i still believe that its some misunderstanding..but the thing i am unhappy abt is that this person keeps on malign me for something i never done or never even heard of..like wat this person said, this person said that he/she saw it with his/her own eyes and that she/he will do a good deed for not telling ppl so as to not ruin my reputation..i mean, if i did something wrong, i will admit it, but if i dont, i will never admit, and i dont need ur help to help me maintain my reputation, this is where i am really unhappy about, cus i dont like ppl accusing me of something that i did not do..we have been friends for so long and now i know this is my impression in this person's heart, i am sad, seriously, i cried, not only because i lost a friend that i had tried so hard to get back with, but e worse is that this person is accuusing me of something i never done b4, n worse , this person did not even tell me wat the matter is abt, well, since this person could recall wat i had said, then i think this person shd remember that i also said b4, ppl have every rite to dislike me or accused me of doing things, but pls, do have a courtesy to at least tell me wat is it abt, at least i know what is going on, if u dare to accuse, then finish the whole thing, let me know why..if i am wrong, i would apologise, to be frank, i thought of it for the whole of last nite and this morning, i really could not recall anything..so that leaves me really very puzzled...this is where it really hurts..cus i really lost a friend, out of my will..i lost a friend i treasured so much, its all over now..its sad cus i cant do anything if this person is not going to tell me...i trasure friendship, but this is wat i get.its really depressing..frankly, when i told this perons that our friendship was over, i really thought a lot beofre sending the sms. but i chose to send it eventually cus i really am too tired to do anything already.i had tried my best.and wat makes me feel even worse is that when i sms that person that msg, e reply was that the person did not expect me to send such an sms to this person, that is where it gets even more confusing, puzzled and agitated..cus this person was the one who said that it will be good that he/she is gone, from my life, then when i accepted that fact its really no chance of us being friends from the sms, i decided to sms this person back telling him/her that i accepted this person's decision , then this person told me that he/she did not expect me to send such an sms..then wat exactly does this person want me to do? i really dont know, and frankly, like i said earlier, i am really too tired already, too tired to know cus i know no matter how hard i try, i will not get an answer, seriously, i hate friendship being ended up like this, anw, wats done is done, wish this person all the best in watever he/she does, and may all the good things evolove ard this person. as 4 now, its time for me to get some sleep, cus i really am too tired, i indeed am..
12:10 PM
Friday, May 27, 2005
kudos to Liverpool, well, they won the champions league after all, it really is a fantastic achievement that they managed to come back from 3 goals down at half time to score 3 goals in 6 mins and eventually won it on penalties...well, the call i had been expecting finally came, haha...that mw, being a KOP fan, i was pretty sure he was going to call me yesterday, and he did..hai...wat to do, cus they are the champions after all..haha, so i had to listen to him saying all those nonsensicall stuff..but seriously, really happy for him that he had already got a place in uni, at least his future is now settled..think he shd have no worries already..but seriously, wat he told me was really something that is worth reflecting upon, and to be frank, it has always been on my mind..he told me not to serve NS already, somehow, i can sense the feeling and agony that he has been going through, hai..i also dont know wat to do..actually, i had always wanted to go overseas and study, cus it would be much faster and I certainly want to experience life outside Singapore, but the thing that has been putting me back is all the friendship i had here, cus for me, once i go overseas, i can NEVER come back,it definitely is a tough decision for me, 2 years of NS in exchange for all my friendship that i fostered during my stay here, is it worth it?
i dont know, i really dont know, well, you may argue that i can always make new friends there in other countries, well, that is true, but making new friends do not mean losing old friends, cus i am sure, since i am unable to come back, the friendship will definitely be gone in years to come, this is reality..hai..i also dont know wat to do..i had no idea at all..
anw, got a reply from my friend whom i thought she was angry with me, well, i was wrong, that is, at least, wat she told me..haha..well, whether she is just making me feel comfortable or not, i dont know, but anw, thx for letting me know that everything is over..haha...think next time i better dont try to help liao..haha, if not misunderstanding will step in again..haha..
anw, for the past 3 weeks or so, i had been thinking also, (seems i still think a lot, haha), that shd i keep it to myself or shd i say it out? hmmmm, think i roughly had came to a decision, and that is, to say it out!! be it a good or bad ending, at least i would have said watever i wanted to say, all those things that had been on my mind..no point keeping it inside me too...haha..so this coming sat, i am sure abt that, i will let everything out..haha..hopefully everything goes my wayba...wish me luck...
1:02 PM
Thursday, May 26, 2005
well, bought 2 albums, Gorillaz's Demon Days and Ocean's six-coloured rainbow..well, i have to say, Gorillaz's album was simply marvellous, a fantastic piece of work from the band, really like it so so so much..had been listening to it, whereas for Ocean's album, i can only say that i am utterly disappointed with it, the songs are almost revolving ard the same tune and to be frank, it gets be bored after a while, i would only give 2 out of 5 stars..
anw, hai..sometimes i also dont know wat i am doing is right or wrong, its just that, sometimes, maybe i think i shd just stop wat i am doing..like for this morning, i was really trying my best to help my friend to get over her sadness, but in the end, i think i got her agitated cus i so called exposed her real self..hai..i am really speechless, cus i just felt so useless..hai..anw, all i want to say its that, if i really do make her sad over the truth, then i am truly sorrie...
anw, champions league final later, hope it will be a good final..as for now, think i am going to continue my winning eleven..haha..
12:30 AM
Sunday, May 22, 2005
last week was really a hectic week, cus i need to clear birthday presents for 6 ppl!!! oh man!! can u imagine that??!! its like one in every single day...haha..well, to be exact, shd be 4, cus i owe 2 ppl of their presents..haha...sorrie..but at least, everything is cleared..mission accomplished...
nothing interesting happened this week, no highs and lows..but just down one of my friends is really down,( well, i believed, at least...)hope all the probs that she is going through will not affect her that much..hope she can pull it through, cus there really is nothing i can do to help, so i can only hope everything goes her way.yeah..
just received a call from mw, haha..that guy is on guard duty..poor guy, on a sat..somemore outfield..oh man...there goes ur sat man..haha..but at least u still have 2 more days...due to Vesak day..u lucky guy..haha...
oh man..while i am writing, i just realised something else, next week is going to be another hectic week, cus....BSB,Gorillaz and Ocean are all releasing their albums..oh man..why!!! why all same week? haha..think May is a sinful month for me..hai...but no choice la..haha..
i seriously dont know how am i going to survive through the whole of June..i have absolutely no idea of wat am i going to do..somemore there will be no soccer to watch..except those pathetic S-League..maybe, just maybe i will be willing to spend some bucks to watch the "school boys"playing soccer..arrrrr!!!!!somebody help me!!!this is really crap..well, i alrady had difficulty keeping myself occupied for the past week, and i am sure the same will go for next week..haha..dont know la..hopefully mother is willing to go out tmr..cus she had been looking very lethargic very recently..i also dont know why, i want to bring her out to relax and enjoy herself..haha..maybe can bring her for picnic or bring her for a spa or something...haha..dont know la..i am running out of ideas already..but first thing first, she must be willing to go out tmr..haha...
anw, recently, had went back to one of my old addictions, worms..haha..they are so cute...had been playing..well, maybe that is one of the few things that can keep me occupied..haha..worms!!!
well, below is something that has been on my mind..well. to be frank, i have had enough of all these..if God really exists, well, i will swear to Him that i, will never ever choose the same path again..why do ppl always misunderstand my actions? why do they have to think so much? well, if they insist on what they think is right, then, well, of course its beyond my control..but to be frank, i am that type of guy, who, once i decided to disklike or do something against something or someone, i do mean it! there will be no turning back...yes, i am that stubborn and rigid-minded..that is why for e.g, once i dont like certain subjects, sorrie man, there is no way that i am going to do well and no matter how hard and dedicated the teachers are, sorrie..that is all i can say..haha...anw, hope all these things can be cleared up soon, and so that i would not be bothered by it anymore..haha..anw, to be frank, i never bother, cus i feel its useless, but its just that when sometimes when i think of it, i just feel funny, that, ppl can actually think the way they think, its just so amusing and amazing...maybe, just maybe, their egos are too high!! haha...
think its time for me to continue my worms and then have a nice sleep..haha..
happy Vesak day ppl..
enjoy the holidays!!
2:06 AM
Friday, May 06, 2005
in memory of the late Dr.Wee Kim Wee, the people's president...it was definitely a depressing day..even God is showing sympathy to the death of such a gracious and chivalrous and well-respected person..it was drizzling in the afternoon, the time when the state funeral was held for the late Dr. Wee Kim Wee..
Dr. Wee Kim Wee, may you rest in peace..and I am sure your legacy of compassion and humility will live long in the hearts and minds of every Singaporean..
11:34 PM
Thursday, May 05, 2005
well, it has been proven....Liverpool's "goal" against Chelsea was NOT a goal!!! though its meaningless to argue at this point of time, but at least, the blues can walked off the pitch with their heads high up, cus we did NOT lose the match..the linesman won the match!!!
never mind the result now, cus we all know, Chelsea is the best team in Europe and England this year, and with more seasons to come, i am sure we will rule the footballing world..
conclusion, over the 2 semi-finals, the best teams( Chelsea and PSV) lose out, while two UNDERSERVING teams went to the final in Turkey..well, for me, a Chelsea fan, this season's champions league is over, the final had already been played..both Liverpool and AC Milan are not the champions!!!
11:52 PM
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
a frustrating day!!! definitely!!! Chelsea lost out on a place in the Champions League final to Liverpool, well, rather underservingly...those who watched the match WILL have to agree with me, that Chelsea is definitely by far the better side, and watching my favourite blues losing early in the morning was really heart-breaking...for the whole of 86 mins after pool had "scored" the goal, it was just a one way traffic...there is no way pool was going to score the next one, i was pretty sure of that, cus their playing style is so negative that, one might think that they are playing with 11 defenders...well, how Chelsea conceded the goal was a total misfortune...i was so pissed and agitated when the referee awarded the goal to liverpool, HOW ON EARTH CAN THE LINESMAN BE SO SURE THAT THE BALL HAD CROSSED THE LINE WHEN EVEN COUNTLESS TIMES OF TELEVISION REPLAYS COULD NOT EVEN PROVE IT?!!!! and the more i watched Luis Garcia performing his trademark thumb-sucking celebration, the angrier i got..cus they dont even deserve it!!!
when the final whistle was blown, i broke down, really broke down, and what hurts me most was watching the Chelsea players cried, Terry, Lampard, Gallas etc...but one man stood strong, Jose Mourinho, in his eyes, I could see the burning desire to claim the trohpy next year...the will to THRASH Liverpool when they meet again the next time..
on the whole, Chelsea lost the semi-final to a controversial refereeing decision, no matter what happens in the end, I am still proud of being a Chelsea fan, cus we are by far the better team, and like what Jose Mourinho said, 'best team lost' ...
Kudos to you, the Blues of London...Chelsea Football Club
9:17 PM
Monday, May 02, 2005
a picture says a thousand words
1:38 PM
We are the Champions by QueenI've paid my dues
Time after time
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand
Kicked in my face
But i've come through
And i need to go on and on and on and on
We are the champions - my friend
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the championsWe are the championsNo time for losers'
cause we are the champions of the world
I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls
You've bought me fame and fortune
And everything that goes with it
I thank you all
But it's been no bed of roses no pleasure cruise
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race
And i ain't gonna lose
And i need to go on and on and on and on
We are the champions - my friend
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the championsWe are the championsNo time for losers'
cause we are the champions of the world
We are the champions - my friend
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the championsWe are the championsNo time for losers'cause we are the champions
1:12 PM
after 50 long years..finally..WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!! CHAMPIONS of English Premier League 04/05/..yes!!! i emphasize on it again...CHAMPIONS.. the moment Lampard scored the 2nd goal, i totally went wild, though its abt 2.30am, i din care much though, cus i just could not be bothered anymore..i shouted and yelled like no one's business..cus WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!!!...gone are the days of the reds domination, (well, i dont mean the reds of the merseyside though..haha)...its time to bring on the BLUES...its time of blue domination...it was definitely a successful year for Chelsea, when the "special one" arrived, everyone was waiting, esp chelsea fans i guess, waiting for him to perform the magic that will transofrm chelsea from title-contenders to champions-elect..from game to game, Jose had shown he indeed is the "special one"..and when our flying dutch man recovered his form, chelsea was just unstoppable..winning is becoming a formality and routine, it will only be shocking when chelsea doesnt win..soounds arrogant? well, maybe..but who cares, being a chelsea fans for 12 years, i think its time for me to really say watever good things i can abt chelsea..haha....well, now, we had got 2 cups in hand already, the league cup and the championship, we are left with champions league, which i am sure we will be in the final, the semi-final at anfield will just be , like i said, a formality, Roman will just be paying for the air-tickets to liverpool and the players will just go to the pitch and kick and pass the ball ard for 90 mins and 3 weeks later we will be in Istanbul for the final..haha...Liverpool is no match for chelsea...i am sure of that...well..definitely, many ppl are waiting for me to eat my words, esp die hard pool fans like mw and james and zl, but guess wat..wait..just wait...wait as long as u want, cus we, chelsea, champions of the EPL, will be in Istanbul for the final and eventually lift the cup and marks the beginning of an era of splendid journey for the blues.....
C is for Chelsea
C is for Champions
C is for Champagne
and for course, C is for Chen Chen..
haha...
Blue is the colour,
football is the game,
here at the bridge,
we"ll beat anyone
winning is our way,
so cheer us on,
through thick and thin,
cus Chelsea is the Champs..
12:53 PM
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