Saturday, July 31, 2004
accompanied my friend to the polyclinic and withnessed the most stupid thing in my life..
it was the 1st time i withnessed that and i definitely hoped it would be the last time...
the doctor did not issue an MC for my friend who is supposed to present it to her teacher on Monday, how irresponsible can a doctor be? he just left the clinic without giving her an MC!!! sigh....
other than that...boring day...
slept and slept and slept..
just completed the 24th season of CM...
hai...
10:52 PM
Friday, July 30, 2004
today is just simply fantatic and marvellous, met up with my long lost friend at jurong point library..waited for her to finish her duty ard 8.30..
then dinner and then we just sat down on the bench and starting chatting...
it was really a superb chatting session, we talked abt everything under the sun...the good memories we had since the primary school days..we shared secrets, sorrows and joy..
was really glad to see her again...it was really memorable...i am just so glad that i am able to meet her again, so glad that she crossed my life again...
the conversation ended ard 11..
then its home sweet home...
11:46 PM
Thursday, July 29, 2004
To me, human race is deteriorating, we are cultivated to a high degree by art and science and technology, but at the same time, we are civilized to the point where we are overburdened with all sorts of social properiety and decency...this is not the way it should be.........
why must ppl always put on masks whenever they are out there interacting and socialising with ppl? arent these ppl tired? i just dont understand...
11:44 PM
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
i am living my life on a F1 track....
8:29 PM
Monday, July 26, 2004
i was tidying up my room just now when i happened to notice those cards and words of encouragments from my friends throughout my schooling days...well..how i wish life was just as simple as what it is appeared on the cards, and that everybody is as pure and truthful to not only themselves but also to the ppl surrounding them...on the surface, i share this world with all human beings, but to me, there is another world inside of me, the world that no one else can see except me, myself..i live in total darkness, and in a tunnel where i just cant find the light i need to get myself out of the darkness, i am alive, but i felt alone, i felt useless, and i felt stupid..part of me is still fighting on, while the other half of me is already gone and dead...well, at least the latter is enjoying himself cus he does not have to be surviving in this world and be surrounded and puzzled by all that is happening ard him..i have given up and on everything...
life is just a spiritual thing that is stopping me from dying...
11:09 PM
How i wish, i could have found a place, where i could be alone, all by myself, and this will be when i am looking for a break...a break that would free me from the exodus of the society and family..There is always more than one reason to feel not good enough, but for me, whatever i do seems to be a reason that will add to the dull feelings of my life..I wish I could be empty and weightless and hopefully i can find some peace tonight..I wish i could fly away, fly away from this dark and cold world, which i live in, with endless fear and anxiety. i wish i could find some comfort, cus i am just so tired being a human being....
12:15 AM
Sunday, July 25, 2004
ever been disappointed by the superficial frenship that you have?
well, view it in a positive way... at least you wont have to know that person deeper...
cus the deeper you know, the uglier it gets...
12:08 PM
Saturday, July 24, 2004
Rainbow connection
Why are there so many
Songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side
Rainbow's are visions
They're only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide
So we've been told and some chose to
Believe it
But i know they're wrong wait and see
Someday we'll find it
The rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me
Who said that every wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star
Somebody thought of that
And someone believed it
And look what it's done so far
What's so amazing
That keeps us star gazing
What so we think we might see
Someday we'll find it
That rainbow connection
The lovers the dreamers and me
All of us under it's spell
We know that it's probably magic
Have you been half asleep
And have you heard voices
I've heard them calling my name
Are these the sweet sounds that called
The young sailors
I think they're one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
There's something that i'm supposed to be
Someday we'll find it
The rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me
11:35 PM
I find little use in life
in fact,
i find little use in almost everything
I'm bored..i'm bored with life
i want to catch the next big yellow taxi and tell the driver to follow the big blue taxi in front the way it's done in the movies..
11:19 PM
Friday, July 23, 2004
had a good chat with my long lost last night, she was really troubled by the things that had been happening around her...she was really down...
just hope that everything will turned out well for her eventually..
met up with a pal in the afternoon, again, we chatted abt almost everything....
then off i went to Johnson's house and played WE, haha..it was really fun...the feeling of thrashing him??haha...jk jk..but i just loved the way he dribbled past 5 of my defenders and got the penalty which he missed eventually..haha..i just cant keep laughing...
haha....
then we went to Mac with him, met Jessica, had a chat with her, she is still so crazy..haha...then she went to tuition liao..
haha..anw, it was a good day overall...yeah..
hope everyday will stay the same...
10:25 PM
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Time passes faster when you actually have something to look forward to.
Unless it comes on me I won't have saw it coming.
The weekend edition of the week is here again.
Give school a chance. I'm sick of not going to school.
haha, is that the real me?
haha
well,
I'm having trouble ending a entry I had trouble beginning.
two words:
random numbness
9:04 PM
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Title: Come On Eileen
Poor old johnny ray
Sounded sad upon the radio
He moved a million hearts in mono
Our mothers used
To sing along, who'd blame them
You're grown (a grown up), so grown (so grown up), now i must say more than ever(come on eileen)
Go toora loora toora loo rye aye
And we can sing just like our fathers
[chorus]:Come on eileen, oh i swear (what he means)
At these moments, you mean everything
With you in that dress, oh my thoughts i confess
Verge on dirtyAh come on eileenCome on eileen !
These people round here wear beaten down eyes
Sunk in smoke dried facesThey're so resigned to what their fate is
But not us (no never), no not us (no never)
We are far too young and clever
Remember
Go toora loora toora loo rye aye
Eileen i'll hum this tune forever (x2)
Come on eileen oh i swear (what he means)
Ah come on, let's take off everything
That pretty red dress, oh eileen tell him yes
Ah come on let's, ah come on eileen
Come on eileen oh i swear (what he means)
At these moments you mean everything
Come on eileen too-loo rye-aye
Come on eileen too-loo rye-aye
Toora toora-too-loora
We are far too young and clever
And things wont ever change
Come on eileen, oh i swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything to me
You mean everything.
9:55 PM
oh no..think i am gaining weight again..
die liao..
i just finished 9 prawns and 2 crabs..
oh no..
this is bad!!!
think i need a good work out tmr liao
oh no................................
9:49 PM
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
yeah!!!
3 cheers...
i am so happy now when i heard the news..
yap. and i really mean it..
it really was a blessing in disguise..
i really have to thank God for that..
i am really happy now..
i am super happy..
i am glad that we are on our own paths now...
i am just super relieved...
yeah..
thank God...
7:08 PM
Monday, July 19, 2004
hai...
another betryal...
what is the world coming to?
because of love, you betray me?
hai...
our friendship is on the line, unless u give me a proper explanation.......
but then...is explaining really important?
u have already done it..
hai....
i dont know..
confused..
11:08 PM
Sunday, July 18, 2004
Maksim Makes Me Melt......
He rox!!!!
9:44 PM
Friday, July 16, 2004
The most destructive habit---
Worry
The greatest Joy---
Giving
The greatest loss---
Loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work---
Helping others
The ugliest personality trait---
Selfishness
The most endangered species---
Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource---
Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"---
Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome---
Fear
The most effective sleeping pill---
Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease---
Excuses
The most powerful force in life---
Love
The most dangerous pariah---
A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer---
The brain
The worst thing to be without---
Hope
The deadliest weapon---
The tongue
The two most power-filled words---
"I Can"
The greatest asset---
Faith
The most worthless emotion---
Self-pity
The most beautiful attire---
SMILE!
The most prized possession---
Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication---
Prayer
The most contagious spirit---
Enthusiasm
9:17 PM
players in:
- Tiago Mendes
- Didier Drogba
- Petr Cech
- Arjen Robben
- Paulo Ferreira
- Mateja Kezman
players gone:
- Desailly
- Melchiot
- Veron
- Crespo
- Gronkjaer
- Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink
- Stanic
- Petit
next to go:
think chelsea just need one more central defender, and that is it..!!! puzzle completed..
cant wait for the season to start..
6:34 PM
Thursday, July 15, 2004
finally, i am awoken!!!!
I am dead serious now!!!!
i am going to stop what i am doing..
i am not going to take my head and go knock against a cold wall already,
i will only bring more misery to myself..
and the worst of all..
the wall wont feel a shit..
but i will be the one ended up feeling pain, frustrated n anger..
i am going to get over e wall, knock it down, and free up my life,
i will be a happier person..
i want to have control over my own life..
and its time i turn my voices into actions..
its time i lead my life..
not led by the bloody you!!
i am waiting for the day to come, the day when i will look back and
curse, swear and
laugh over it, over at my stupidity and foolishness..
i am not going to let myself down...
you know what u had done,
and you know what you had been doing..
betraying the trust is the most
despicable thing one can do..
now,
go take a look at the mirror and see the
ugliness inside
YOU!!!
SCRAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
11:10 PM
if killing is made legal..you are top of my list, followed by Khoo Puay Cheng!!!!!
until now, you are still lying...
not only to me...
even to those who treat u as close friends..
why are u so "face-orientated??"
are friendship less important than ur so called "face"??!!!!
where has your humanity gone??
go continue to be watever type of person u want to be!!!!
i dont know you anymore...
i felt regretful to place so much trust in you..
i felt regretful to even knowing you...
now, you are outta my mind!!!!
but you know what?
i believe in retributions...
if i ever get to see you again, i will be the one holding my head high up!!!
there is nothing i should be afraid of..cus my conscious is clear!!!
YOU LIAR!!!!
GET LOST!!!!
9:33 PM
time really flies, it had been a year...
the moment they took down their council badges, it was really sad...
me, being a spectator, was already shedding tears, let alone them..
anw, yesterday's invest was really successful...
watching my pals stepping down proudly with their heads high up was indeed a meaningful
thing..
all their hardwork,
all their effort,
all their time,
all their sacrifices,
and it had came to a grand ending..
councilors, you are simply great...
though it is hard to accept the fact,
though it is hard to leave your posts,
but this day has to come..
it had ended..
an era..
but its a new beginning for the 24th..
all the best to them..
1:00 PM
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
waiting for the moment of truth...
you better dont disappoint me again...
if not, i am gonna KILL you!!!
8:45 PM
Monday, July 12, 2004
enjoyable moments today :
smsing mw in the morning
chatting with ian at night
boring moments today:
every other single thing that i did
that's it...
bored......
should i go?
i dont know...
still thinking..
Artist: HOOBASTANK
Title: Crawling in the Dark
I will dedicate
And sacrifice my everything
For just a second's worth
Of how my story's ending
And I wish I could know
If the directions that I take
And all the choices
That I make
Won't end up all for nothing
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark
Looking for the answer
Is there something more than
What I've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark
Looking for the answer
Help me carry on
Assure me it's OK
To use my heart
And not my eyes
To navigate the darkness
Will the ending be ever
Coming suddenly?
Will I ever get to see the
Ending to my story?
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark
Looking for the answer
Is there something more than
What I've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark
Looking for the answer
So when and
How will I know?
How much further
Do I have to go?
How much longer
Until I finally know?
Because I'm looking and
I just can't see
What's in front of me
In front of me
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark
Looking for the answer
Is there something more than
What I've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark
Looking for the answer
11:16 PM
Sunday, July 11, 2004
Artist: The Calling
Title: Our Lives
Is it love tonight
When everyone's dreaming
Of a better life
In this world
Divided by fear
We've gotta believe that
There's a reason we're here
Yeah, there's a reason we're here
Cause these are the days worth living
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
See the truth all around
Our faith can be broken
And our hands can be bound
But open our hearts and fill up the emptiness
With nothing to stop us
Is it not worth the risk?
Yeah, is it not worth the risk?
Cause these are the days worth living
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
Even if hope was shattered
I know it wouldn't matter
Cause these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
We can't go wrong
Thinking it's wrong
To speak our minds
I've gotta let out what's inside
Is it love tonight
When everyone's dreaming
Can we get it right?
Yeah, well can we get it right?
Cause these are the days worth living
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
Even if hope was shattered
I know it wouldn't matter
These are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
11:14 PM
what rights do i have to complain about the pain i am suffering ?
what rights do i have to complain about the stress i am undergoing?
what rights do i have to complain about the life i am living?
I HAVE ABSOUTELY NO RIGHTS!!!
this is the kind of feelings i got after watching the charity aiming to raise funds for the unfortunate kids...
they are just so poor thing, look at them, the agony within them, the sufferings they are undergoing, but do they complain? nope, they do not!!! they stand tall and face the reality..and they look ahead, the what is keeping them ahead? their faith within them..
that should be the attitude..
the never say die attitude..
they are the perfect role models in terms of determination...
they are the ones whom i respect and look up to...
i salute them..
no more complains from me from today onwards, no more whinings...
i just live my life and be contented with what i have, this should be the way..
in addition, i had a long thought last night, and i really mean it..
i had came to a final conclusion..
i will not hate her..
cus i believe,by turning someone's mistakes into hatred within oneself, i am already committing a mistake myself..
so just forget and forgive..
i will not hate you, but friendship ends here..
cus friendship is built on trust, and since the trust is already gone, there really is no point dragging it any longer...
hoping for a brighter day tomorrow..
good nite.........
11:01 PM
Saturday, July 10, 2004
you destroyed my whole day......
just what is on your mind...
i dont know
and at this point of time,
just exactly what you want?
i dont care...
i dont even wish to know...
well, you made the decision,
you choose your own path......
now its time you paddle your own boat!!!!
GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!!
12:33 AM
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
afternoon was the most interesting of all..
met mw to study..
decided to head to NTUC to buy food to fill our stomachs...
then we brought our food with us to the study area where we are not supposed to eat and drink..
haha..how fun was it?
haha..simply fantastic..
we took extreme care when trying to open the packets of snacks, cus we did not want to disturb the ppl ard us...
we tried to eat silently, but sorry man, it was of no use..the chewing sounds of teh snacks, think just pissed the ppl off...
haha..but when we are hungry, we really mean it..
so no choice, the food just had to be consumed..
sorry to the ppl there...
then came the worst thing i had ever done, well, in this month maybe..haha
i spent 6 dollars trying to download a ringtone which i did not receive eventually..
how dumb can i get??
sigh.....
anw elaine joined us ard 4, and that is of course, when mw's smile gets even more cheerful..haha..
anw, we studied until 6.30 like that, then it was chatting time..haha..
talke abt everything under the sun..
from primary sch prefects to sec sch friends and teachers..
still cant believe when heard that YC actually passed the CD to MW's mum..haha..(we know what is inside..haha..), and of course, not forgetting all the TCHS NPCC cheerleaders...haha..shiok...
anw, it was indeed a fun day, and most importantly, a fruitful day..cus eventually, i studied..haha..miracle isn't it?
haha
thx mw and elaine for this wonderful day..
haha
listening to:
one by one BY The Calling
Copa America starts tmr...
Will we see another Greece?
............
11:31 PM
Monday, July 05, 2004
is this a joke or what?
Greece, the Champions of Euro 2004?
My God..this is really a BIG news..
but believe it or not, they are indeed the champions..
dont want to elaborate further on the match, cus..Portugal was just so disappointing..
No teamwork at all..hai...
anw, congrats to Greeks...
An interesting day indeed,
went to sentosa with Jason, Rosz and Silvest,
we settled at the same place where we last went, took out our usual stuff, cards and chips, then its time for OLE!!
haha..
played soccer and rugby, but din play volleyball, cus all of us were afraid of the pain..haha...
but our joy was short-lived...soon it started pouring..we had no choice but to pack up and ran.......
in the end, we decided to head for town..
first stop was Plaza Singapura, (ya, the same place..),
we had lunch at BK, then sat there and talk everything under the sun and was spying for..hmmm...haha.........
from PS, we head for Cine and walked for a while off we went for the bus for home..
lots of fun on the bus too, all the lame jokes and of course, all the HEY HEY HEY!!!
It was really a fantastic day,
although the weather was sucky, but we did had fun in the end..that is the ultimate aim, isnt it??
a great day...
10:51 PM
Saturday, July 03, 2004
just finished watching Wimbledon Women's final, Maria Sharapova was simply sensational!!!
not only she is hot, but also she possesses good skills, and she is only 17!! can you believe it!!!! what a talent...bye bye Serena, try harder next year..
i have got a new idol!!!
wooohhhhhhhhaaaaaaaa
a boring day...
these 3 words summed it up..
but gratefully, had a great dream, really hope it will come true...i will be waiting...
10:40 PM
against all odds, the Greeks had done it again, first it was Portugal,then Spain, then France, now the latest victim is Czech Republic, well, the Greeks certainly dont have great individual players, but they played well as a unit, they played as a team..and right at the spot, BINGO..the header from Dellas..and Greece are in the final...it was a sad ending to Czech's route to this championship, they certainly are a great side..but on this day, luck just wasnt on their side....try harded next time...
anw, met up with Bear today in JJ, saw lots of ppl too, esp Koh..WOOOOOOHHHHHHAAAAAAAA.....
anw, it was a day of great fun...
now going to bed liao...
hoping for a better tomorrow...
Chelsea signs Kezman....
12:59 AM
Thursday, July 01, 2004
watched the Portugal V.S Holland game, it was a thumbs up performance for the Portuguese, and a poor performance for the Dutch. The Portuguese totally deserved their win, and the goal scored by Maniche was a total stunner...no doubt about that, definitely goal of the tournament..
anw, saw Zhengling today, she looked the same, forever smiling and cheerful, chatted with her for a while and we headed for different directions..
came home and slept and mug for a while,
then now here i am reflecting my day..
today's diet:
1 Ruffles Chips,
2 Bottles of Snapples,
1 packet of M&M chocolate
2 slices of bread
that is all i ate today..though little, but high in carbo..
hai..
i dont even know what i am doing..
but i just dont feel hungry these days..hai..
nvm, think i go watch Tennis liao...
waiting for that day to come, the day which i sincerely hoped for, a new beginning, i hope..
bye for now...
cant wait for Greece to win....
10:32 PM
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